New things, scary things, many things

A lot of things in my life are different right now. I'm moving into my own apartment tomorrow. It's a new thing for me to live on my own. I've always had someone else to sign a lease with, and make decisions with. Now it's all on me. It's a good thing, I know, and it will help me grow a lot, but it's also just kind of scary. I don't know why I think "scary", but it is a little. I keep picturing my first night there by myself, sitting there with all my stuff around me. Will I feel overwhelmed? Sad? Lonely? Happy? I have no idea. Why are we sometimes so afraid of the unknown? Why do I fear being alone with my own thoughts? Is there really that much there for me to still discover? There must be.

2 nights ago, I had a really scary dream, where I think some man followed me to my new apartment, and I was trying to hide from him, and just crying out this strange cry. I was apparently making that sound out loud, and my brother came in to make sure I was ok. I couldn't even explain what my dream was. But all these fears and anxieties are playing out everywhere, in my dreams and in my moods.

I think fear keeps people from making changes and living their life to the fullest. WHY DO WE FEAR CHANGE? What is so scary about something being different? Comfort often wins. No one likes to feel vulnerable. But feeling vulnerable and scared and uncomfortable may be just what I need to really know myself better. So here I am, trying that on for size.

Here goes...